We Are Raising a She-Hulk

Before my daughter was born and we didn’t know her gender, we used to refer to her as “it”. After she was born, the pronoun stuck and we began calling her “it” when we wanted to imply that she was acting like a beastly creature.

When she was down for a nap in her room, my husband would stick the baby monitor in my face and say, “It’s awake”.

When she would pee on me: “It hates you”.

When she would throw a tantrum: “It’s losing its shit”. Continue reading

Spring Photoshoot!

Every time this year, when I am falling hopeless in love with spring all over again, I try to photograph the spawn with the magnificent apple blossom and magnolia trees that are breathtaking this time of the year. It is their fleeting beauty that I absolutely adore. And so I go with the spawn and my camera (the first baby) on a nature walk, and try to capture her natural interaction with these gorgeous beauties.

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The Snow Queen and the Little Girl

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Mother’s Day Special: Supermarket Flowers

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Mother’s Day is coming up and hopefully your spouse and kids have been emotionally blackmailed enough by TV commercials (or you) to buy you supermarket flowers. Or a diamond or two.

It’s a happy day for mommies by and large. It is the one day we are recognized for the aches and pains of bringing human life into the world and then hauling it around. Our kids make us burnt toast for breakfast and we gleam like the sad saps we are. Continue reading

Full-time Employee, Part-time Mommy

Recently I was having coffee with a friend whose son is my daughter’s age. She said to me, “I don’t know if this makes me a bad mom or something…” here she dropped her voice to a whisper, “but I am so happy to drop my kid off to daycare on Mondays.”

I laughed. Then I told her that I do a drive-by drop off on Mondays. A drive-by drop off is when you slowly drive by your child’s school, roll down your windows and hurl your child out into the waiting arms of the teacher, and yell, “See ya later bitches!!” and then put on your sunglasses and crank up the volume on Drake. Continue reading

The Maid’s Hands

Clink, clink, clink.

I watch her through the rising steam of my cup of chai.

She brings the pestle down again and again onto the small, round, red hot peppers being doomed to the destiny of powdery flakiness in the mortar. She sits on the floor, the gold bangles on her dark wrists gleaming in the midday sun streaming in through one of the kitchen windows. Continue reading

Imposter Monster

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All the colors of the rainbow in my hand

I am an accountant.

It’s an exhilarating and exciting job. Everyday, I have key decisions to make like what color to choose for my spreadsheet report. Which file folder do I use? Which color stickies do I select? It’s almost as unpredictable and creatively satisfying as being Beyoncé. Continue reading

The Second Class Citizens Foundation

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Creeping on my mom and spawn

You are the apple of your parents’ eyes. They love you unconditionally. They have tucked you in and kissed your boo-boos. They have ooh-ed and aah-ed at each one of your accomplishments. They love you more than they love anyone else. Continue reading